with the end in mind: a book review

This book is one of my favourites that I've read in recent years. A collection of stories and anonymised case studies written by cancer and palliative care specialist, Kathryn Mannix, this book discusses death and dying in the most intricate and delicate ways. Advancements in medical technology in recent years are extending our lifespans and saving more lives than ever before, but when are we extending death rather than enhancing life? The question of living better or living for longer is a very important one, albeit ignored, and perhaps only the individual can decide this for themselves. But her stories guide the reader through this delicately, exploring dying in a way only one that has seen thousands of deaths can.

Each story gets progressively provocative and emotional as the book progresses, incredibly moving and beautiful. She weaves the light and dark threads of her experience with compassion, showing the importance of listening before speaking. Her fascinating stories allow the living to feel the emotions experienced by the dying; to truly realise how we will all eventually face death and how that is not something to fear. Mannix has stood beside the dying for the most of her career and her empathy and compassion for not just her patients but all around her is apparent in every page. 

Especially relevant for the young, the greatest lesson I learnt from this book is acceptance, of death and far more. Her stories explore the various ways her patients deal with dying, and how those watching are affected. Death is inevitable, and it has not changed since life began but we have lost our way with dying, not knowing what to expect as death approaches. Setting out to demystify death, Mannix is opening an important discussion in this book, a conversation about dying. For some, extending life to reach important milestones or events is be worth it. But extending it solely in fear of dying? This is the predicament Mannix so profoundly addresses with wisdom beyond lifetimes in these stories. This book is essential reading for anyone who will encounter death: us, the living.

“There are only two days with fewer than twenty-four hours in each lifetime, sitting like bookmarks astride our lives; one is celebrated every year, yet it is the other that makes us see living as precious.” - Kathryn Mannix, With the End in Mind: Dying, Death and Wisdom in an Age of Denial

A few notes:

I initially started reading this last year when I was applying for medicine, looking for some good books that I could potentially reference in my personal statement or to mention in my interviews to make me look well-read, but this book has impacted me in many more ways than I could have imagined. Having volunteered at a palliative care centre in Malaysia: Hospis, I do find that death is something that we don't talk about enough and I hope that this will become something that we can talk about more. Do pick up this book and give it a read! Subscribe to receive weekly notifications when I post!

Some housekeeping

• Find the book here: With the End in Mind: Dying, Death, and Wisdom in an Age of Denial 
• Read an excerpt 
• David Schneider talks to palliative care consultant Kathryn Mannix (an interesting conversation)