a fear of the future: a response

My good friend recently wrote a blog post about his fears for the future, and it was just a little surprising that it so heavily resonated with me. Here's my little response:

I too am afraid of the future. I hate that almost everything in life is up to chance and how little control I actually have. I am almost always paralysed by every decision I make, wondering if it actually is the right thing to do, or if the opportunity cost is actually greater than I had anticipated. I am terrified, that being scared is what really holds me back. Sometimes all I want to know is the ending, that I don't have to make every move in dread and fear. 

We are faced with so many choices in life, doors and windows if you will. There are the window-openers, who if they see the outcome they want through the glass, they open the window and step through, knowing exactly what to expect. And there are also the door-knockers, who cannot see what's on the other side of the door but still knock. They are not without fear, however, but just have the courage to knock. 

The unknown is not comfortable, and we do not like it. Fear and anxiety is our mind's self-defence in its purest form. So many things could go wrong with making looming decisions (especially at this ripe age, when the choices we make now have large impacts on the rest of our lives), and our brain makes sure that we are fully aware of this. When we are presented with opportunities, there usually is a decision to be made, and beyond this is an unknown outcome. Our mind immediately reacts to this discomfort to protect us, trying to keep us safe, to be comfortable and stay where we are.

But we can never grow if we just stay where we are, and this is the catch. A life without fear is a life of only things that you know that is within the realm of where you are at now. There is no room for serendipity or struggle, and you will forever remain where you are. Knocking on the unknown is hard, but the best outcomes are often hidden behind doors. Uncertainty is scary, and we will never be ready for it. Life truly begins once you truly see fear for what it is; just a figment of your wild imagination. 

The magic is to just have the courage to open the door and step through and let life unfold.

A few notes:

I find discussions about fear (especially in this context) very ... interesting, and I struggle to find internal coherence on how I should really approach this both in discussion and personally. I am no expert on this topic and these are just my thoughts but I felt this was something I really wanted to write about, mostly for self-comfort. I hope that you found this interesting. Subscribe to receive weekly notifications when I post!

Some housekeeping:

• Please do check out Jay Ren's original post here, it's a great read and he's a lovely dear. 
• This idea of Window-openers vs Door-knockers was taken an analogy from this podcast. Do have a listen if you find it is something that interests you!